you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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