Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
