Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
