Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
