Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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