Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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