I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
