i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
