So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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