im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
