i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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