but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
soo... how was my night?
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