May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
