Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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