Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
