Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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