ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
