Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im holly from the hills drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Less talking, more tequila
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
