her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
