If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
