My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think my mom watched the whole time
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
