They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
