She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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