Define "chronic" masturbator.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
