I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
