38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
