we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
