I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
