Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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