I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
