Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
