Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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