I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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