Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
