Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
