well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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