I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
