the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
