also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
