just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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