He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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