Say something about gay babies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
