idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
