her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was like eating out sand paper
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
