I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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