She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
