How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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