she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
