weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
