do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
