Too much gin, very little bucket
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
